I never thought I'd say this, but there are altogether too many men in the world.

Well, no, I suppose I don't really mean that.

But honestly, I do wish that certain old flames would stop popping up and causing trouble. I'm in a bit of a tight position and I don't know what I should do.

Ha, I suppose it's a bit late to be thinking of what I should do, since I've already done it. I'm still not sure I made the right choice...

Well, let me backtrack and actually tell you what happened.

Three words: Mannox and Dereham.

Yes, that means exactly what you think it means. They've come back into my life.

I suppose I always knew that Dereham would return; after all, he did promise to return and marry me. But I guess in my young, girlish mind, I never really expected that he would come back after I married the king. And now he has...

Anyways, he asked me to make him my personal secretary after finding out that I am already married. I'm a bit worried...I don't know what his intentions are...but anyways, I made him my secretary. I can only hope it's not a choice that will come back to haunt me.

Now, Mannox. He came back too and I made him my court musician. However, I'm worried about him too! I don't know if I can trust him--after all, he did write that letter to the Duchess telling her about Dereham and me...but I am still fond of him, and music is my greatest passion in life.

I just hope they don't reveal any secrets about my past...the king believes that I am an innocent, giggling girl...I don't want to tarnish his view of me.

Oh, here's something that has slipped my mind for the last several posts: I'm actually not really queen. I haven't had my coronation yet. They are waiting for me to bear an heir for Henry VIII and then they will crown me. There was a rumor while we were touring that I was pregnant and preparations for my coronation were in place. However...I somehow doubt it. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Pensively yours,

Catherine